Maddox Misery must die!

Happy birthday me I guess.

2012-01-23T11:47:00.000-08:00

Back again for a quick moment. Today is my birthday. As it is every year right in the dead time of winter. Not much happening today, no local friends and not much to do at the moment. But it's not a huge disaster, which is way ahead of how it usually goes.

Though I did lose some artwork I created tonight. That part sucked. But it's not like it was too important. Had it been something job or personal project stuff I'd lose my mind and kick things over and blah blah blah.

I may, if I have time post stuff as I make it later. I'm trying to shake off the rust and open a cheap day of commissions tomorrow. Offset the wonderfully lax day today. Wish luck I should raise some much needed funds and get the groove back to hit the next projects I have lined up.

Redesign and all that is still forthcoming. Today. I lurk and sleep. Maybe cake. Who knows.

First art post of the year. iPad sketchery.

2012-01-09T20:28:00.001-08:00

New year, first art dump post. I made these randomly on my iPad this week while working out some new ideas and selling off random junk. NYE was ok, weren't exactly out partying but it was ok. Hanging out With the new kitten and the rest of the bunch. He's still a bit wacky but acclimating. Been sorting everything out to really fire up the total revamp of everything. Have some ideas but I need to ask about some things. So new design and setup is coming, along with far better content. As much as I like to go on and on, I'm sure you'd rather I shut up and post art stuff. Actual comics maybe. So yeah, this begins more of that.

After the jump I'm just going to post random images made on my iPad, some very rough.

This was the most random, it ended up being kind of the X-men's own Nightcrawler.

Obligatory random batman.

Yet another Hellboy, a late contribution to #drawhellboy

A super rough quick sketch of an original character I'm currently revamping. I may actually take the original unpublished works and serialized them on this blog, just have to figure things out.

As always, I'm open to commissions and collaboration on anything really. My rates are insanely fair. Thanks for stopping by.

The final word of 2011 (at least from here)

2011-12-31T08:29:00.000-08:00

As the last day begins we sit here at 4am. We ended up getting that kitten from that rescue group. As much as I soured on the idea they let us know that the little guy we were looking at was ready to come home.

So we are now the owners of this guy:

His name is Peanut and when awake he does not stand still. This was the first picture of the little guy trying to kill a ghost. He's weird and leaps into his litter box. No idea why, like he's announcing with a flourish that peeing is going to happen. The adult cat here isn't very fond yet.

I actually feel kind of guilty, she lost her only friend a month ago, and here we are bringing this new hell raiser in here. She looks real sad but not aggressive to him. Give it time. It's still very soon. (only a day so far)

So lets see.

This year was a strange one. It started with family still going to court over my fathers estate. Insane lies and people covering themselves in a way that makes them look guilty as hell. I took more of a back seat in this fight. Its a no win battle over the unimportant parts of someone's life. I was never in it for a pay day, as much as some want to believe. I'm just tired of the strife brought from that. December 28th marked the 3rd anniversary of my fathers death. Still a very big cloud hanging over me. Still haven't gone to the grave, said goodbye. Done the things one should do to move on. It just hasn't felt right while these people fight over his baubles.

This year was also tough due to the economical situation. Trying to get work has been near impossible. Taken to doing random little odd jobs just to keep afloat. Though I haven't had much luck on that front, maybe next year.

Didn't help that I did get hit with some unfortunate situations, mostly drained my already anemic accounts. Almost dying from an infection in my ear that went way too far, that sucked. Hurt like crazy and dropped me off the planet for nearly 2 months. It was kind of surreal and really opened my eyes to some new ideas brought on by the madness of the sickness. It was like the flu with a knife in your head. While someone flashes random colors at you. Once I was recovering though, the world started making sense.

I learned to stop caring what people say, for years I fought tooth and nail to disprove or stop the unfounded rumors and really general awful shit people say about me. Which past anyone living in this town in the 90's shouldn't even matter. My brothers even got in on the insane horror of it. Right as my father is laid to rest they all kind of hit me at once. I fought hard, then I realized, no one cared. Most won't care what I write here. Most don't care if I exist. Most don't care about people in my town, county, city. None of it matters.

I fought phantoms for years instead of doing what I should be doing. I wasted much of my life on negative influences. From my upbringing to the last years cold war with people who are my age and older over bullshit teenage grudges. It's sad. Sad and I'm done with it. I've said it before and I'll say again. If you're someone swayed by random rantings from random people you don't know when hiring me to say, draw a picture of your dog. Really take your business elsewhere. It's irrelevant to what I do. You don't hire a roofer because he's a nice perfect upstanding citizen, you hire him because he's good at his job and he has good turnover. So don't judge a random person based off other random people. Actually talk to me, get to know me. You may not be my best friend but you'll know who I actually am.

Past that I no longer care. I don't have many friends. The list gets shorter due to many factors. The big one is I'm not a very out and about guy, I don't have a job to socialize and meet people. I'm not a bar person and let's face it, I'm 33 and socially crippled. I have a fiancé who lives in the cave with me. I don't think it's really going to change unless I change.

One change to make is to drop the MaddoxMisery name. This will be a somewhat gradual process over the next month. Shutting down most things. (I'll be going under my own name) no more masks to get in the way.

I'm back to doing what I started out doing. Writing and drawing stories that I think are interesting. Rebuilding long dismantled businesses. Resurrecting characters in better ways. Starting up painting again. I got too far away from what the whole point of everything is.

As such this blog title will have to change, once it's all over and done with, and with that a new format and better everything. Hopefully.

Here's a sketch of a character I'm bringing back from the dead (though really for the first time since I never fully published the books I made years ago. Long story.) did this on my iPad.

I have no idea what next year will bring. Hopefully it'll be more coherent and better than the last. Ali plans on getting some schooling to become a vet, after the nightmare we endured she didn't want others to have to deal with vets like the ones we dealt with. A noble and respectable reason.

Hopefully I can do what I always do, survive and get back on my feet. I still take commissions, I am revising my guidelines a great deal but my rates are reasonable. I'm looking for more regular work as well. Hoping something finally works out. Hard work and determination will only get me so far. Maybe I'll luck out. Who knows. I will be releasing new material next year. Might need some help with some things.

As for the rest, I take it as it comes. Like Rocky said 'it's about taking the hit and still getting up, seeing how hard you can get hit and still keep coming and keep fighting' not a direct quote but a general idea. Sorry I saw the last movie the other day.

I have officially wasted 7 minutes of your new years.

You're welcome.

The holiday wrap-up.

2011-12-26T18:03:00.001-08:00

Another Christmas comes to a close. We spent it very low key. No one exactly came around or called. Which is just how it is sometimes. Sad in some ways but not a deal breaker. We ended up watching a lot of Dr Who. Which I haven't seen since I was a child and the doctor had giant hair and a funky scarf. We were confused but enjoyed it.

Hopefully someone got that gift link in my last post. I haven't checked and no ones spoken up exactly. Which might be telling me that I should just stop with this, but that might be going too far. Hope your holidays were good.

The Internet thankfully died early Christmas day, so I missed out on the flood of people who post those ungrateful mean terrible human being posts on twitter or reddit about how every this ruined because they didn't get the right kind of car or a new iPhone in the right color. That kind of sucks any joy out of anything. So I'm glad for the few hours rest of the always on screaming march of progress and simply just being with the few people who actually care enough to be here. I didn't really get anything to show off, nor do I need anything (except maybe more work and clients who don't stiff me)

I did get Ali a laptop, she needed one. Upgraded the ram a bit. I got into an argument with a client who decided he didn't want to pay me despite finishing what he asked. I'm just not having any luck. Lost a bunch of time and money. So I already came in with a sour mood. What made it better was throwing a few humble bundles to some random people I don't know. Some were actually really appreciative. So that made me feel good. Also the humble bundles help out charity, and the developers of said games in the bundle. Not sure if it's still running, but they do new ones often. Check them at humblebundle.com

We did one last thing, an old tradition in my family where we go out when everyone's out at mass to go check out Christmas lights. One neighbor kicked so much ass that everyone else didn't bother this year. They run a fund drive for a children's hospital every year and they do this insane display. Every inch of lawn covered in light up characters. Synced lights to music. Giant gates covered in damn near everything Christmas. A roof adorned with everything else. Every year, more and bigger. I bow to its glory.

The pictures are on my phone, so I'll likely drop those on twitter.

Oh and we got word that the cat we were looking at from that rescue organization, the prior possible owners dropped out. And he's ours if we want him still. I have a few questions, but I'm leaning toward getting the little guy.

Ultimately, this Christmas, while isolated and strange, with things going sour on one end, ended up turning out decent. Now if anyone need coupons for steam, I has many to hand out.

Tomorrow I may have a new cat in here.

Totally random holiday gifting (also,Bane)

2011-12-20T20:35:00.001-08:00

Hello again, I come bearing gifts. Tonight I was out of sorts. Broken even. My bank account is bombed to hell, I lost my best buddy cat. Family not being what one would usually expect on the holidays. A big commission turned into a giant headache where the client (who shall be unnamed) said my time wasn't worth the price I asked. Which was a super low ball price for the amount of work done. Essentially slitting my own throat. Enemies at the gates looking to hurt me however possible.

All in all, typical holiday season here. Shit happens. It's all in how you pick up and move on. So today I bought another humble indie bundle which is now up to 12 games and many soundtracks. Instead of being a sad sack and gifting to myself. I pass it on to you, whoever is seeing this.

The gift link is http://www.humblebundle.com/?gift=8SqMsXnzU2mX

I don't really ask anything in return, throw me a follow on twitter (@maddoxmisery), friend me on steam (sn: maddoxmisery). Let me know you got it. Pay it forward and all. I figured I'd do something nice in light of so much awful. The few who are in my life have been good to me, despite my generally morose postings in random places. I don't have many friends, and those few couldn't care less for this. So whoever you are, take it in good faith. You in a roundabout way supported charity and developers who made some damn good games. Play them and be happy. Not everyone's a shithead this holiday. No matter which one you celebrate. I'm cool with everyone.

If you miss out, I may do this again if it goes well.

Oh looks like after Christmas I may be getting a kitten, got the message from the rescue that I'm approved and passed all the background checks. Which is funny in light of all the made up shit people seem to believe about me. Got no time to be bitter. It's the holidays.

Enjoy.

Also up at top, I made a quick bane sketch with my trusty iPad. Not really digging it. But I thought some might like it. I still don't know what to think about the Dark Knight Rises Bane. I have faith in Nolan.

Still alive.

2011-12-16T20:31:00.000-08:00

Bad news: I've been away for a while. My cat didn't make it. I kind of blame myself for not rushing to a different vet. The ones caring for her simply weren't, they made the situation worse and worse. Finally telling me the treatments we were going with were not even meant to do anything. Then she told me that she was discontinuing care. That night my cat was barely functioning. I had to make a judgement call. She was suffering so I felt I had to let her go. As much as it hurt, she is gone. So I took time away to deal with it. I wasn't really feeling up to doing much. So my profile dropped to a mere blip. Most didn't notice.

Better news: in my low profile time I was asked to do a commission. Which is pictured above. They asked for them in a post apocalyptic setting. It was supposed to be full color but nothing I did looked right. So I went for tonal screening and channel filters. Turned out much better.

More bad news: people I thought were long gone who really have no purpose or life other than to damage and dismantle anything I do with blatant lies and high school bullying (in our 30s even, which is extra sad.) are back spreading the falsehoods. Which really I'm tired of dealing with. I know it's happening and I people on twitter are telling me about it. I'm 33 and the people who know me know I'm not anything but nice to people and do whatever I can to help out and do my part in society. I'm not a huge successful big rich guy. I'm an unemployed cartoonist. A cartoonist that makes the occasional book that sells all of 4 copies. To be in your 30s and trying to destroy someone who's simply making art and sharing it. Occasionally offering work for donations. Apparently that's bad. I even caught shit for buying a humble bundle and gifting the code to someone because I just wanted to support it and already had the games. There's nothing I can do to get people to like me, it's foolish to even start. If one chooses to believe the lies, go right ahead.

There is a reason is is called Maddox Misery must die. It's the death of a concept. The concept is the name I took, based on books I was making, that represented a time in my life when I left a bad relationship, started a deviantart account and began creating just to create. On there I exposed some raw nerves and things most people don't talk about. With it I was breaking my habit of bottling the rage inside. It was a downer sometimes but it was coping. Some people took this as a means to attack. Some I never met, and some who I haven't seen in 13 years. They came out and tried to dismantle it. It touched a nerve. Which was kind of the point. Accusing me of everything you can imagine. We had a family friend in trouble. I tried to do something good for him hopefully anonymously, they jumped on me saying I was running a scam. I offered to give everything back. No one cared. So I donated it and moved on. They persisted. I carried on until my father died of pancreatic cancer. At that point I felt it was time to wind it down. The world changed for me. The idea of fighting Internet trolls wasn't something I cared for, still don't. So I'm leaving it here. If you see things and have questions, send me an email. I make myself very available. Otherwise I'm done with it. I'm done with that life. The death of Maddox Misery is a real thing. It's a relic of the past. It only dragged on after my father died because my brothers decided to join this odd gaggle of trolls. I have a strange relationship with my family. Hard to explain in short bursts. I will if asked though.

Even better news: to really temper the badness and stupidity. I decided, a bit early for me really, to adopt a cat through a rescue organization. I wasn't really looking for a new cat. I have one still, she seems lonely and she freaks out whenever I leave the room. But the idea of a new cat was just alien. Then I saw is one little kitten. I don't want to get my hopes up just yet. Going to see the head of the organization tomorrow. I just tout he was neat and decided to fill out the forms and submit to all the checks. First time through a rescue. I'm not naming them because I know the idiots check my blog and messages looking for a new place to attack. I'll post pics if it works out.

Godspeed Christopher Hitchens. As in good journey in a more atheistic context. He was an inspiration and over all cool guy.

The update I didn't want to write.

2011-11-20T12:49:00.000-08:00

This won't be a long one.

For the past few weeks my cat TC had taken ill. The vet prescribed medications yet offered no treatment past super expensive blood transfusions to combat her anemia. All this time they had zero diagnosis. She had many ups and downs. Some days it's like she was getting better, the next she was so weak the act of eating was a chore.

Through all this we had to fight the vets with everything, we're blatantly lied to and charged insane sums to come up with nothing. When I told her for the last time the issues they originally ignored, she called me a liar and gave up treatment for the unknown ailment.

This was on Tuesday. We stayed up over night with her. She got far far worse and payed nearly catatonic on Ali's lap. Every move was met with a low pained meow. Se stopped eating and really functioning. Breathing shallow and glassy eyed. I decided to make the call.

Wednesday morning at 9:30 I lost my buddy. She fought hard but I just couldn't make her suffer any more than she had this far. The vets were awful to us, seeing we are a lower class than they are they refused many treatment options that would have helped her. The fact I had to find out alternative treatments from the Internet should tell me that these vets only wanted the kick back from the referral to the insane expensive place.

I really miss my buddy. She was the smartest cat I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Tis likely sounds so dumb, but she was probably the best loyal friend I ever had. Where people deceived and simply left through the years, she was there hanging out. Most cats are just solitary kind of leave me alone animals. She sat with me for days after my father died. Every time a relationship ended, there she was poking my hand and distracting me. And to thing I was resistant to even having a cat. An ex girlfriend got a cat for her birthday, she thought I should get one. I said no, she pushed more and I relented agreeing only to go look.

That shelter was depressing. A very grey cold place. The animals looked just as sad. I saw this kitten ignoring the kid poking at the cage. She looked at me and climbed up on the cage door and grabbed my leg, meowing and generally wanting out. She ignored everyone but me. That's when I said fuck it, I like her. And she was off to my house. The first few weeks she couldn't jump so she would climb my leg and sleep on my lap while I drew things or worked on my computer. It is something. I'll never forget. I have a million other stories but I figured I'd save them.

She was the best and I'll never forget her. Kind of still in shock and sadness. I decided to take a few days away from everything to process it all.

The epilogue is I am launching a complaint over the shit the vets did. Already talked to a lawyer and I have something to go after. Not much but I want these people to learn that you can't do this to people. Putting profits over the very lives they are supposed to help. Sure there might have been no saving her ultimately, but they treated us like garbage and ignored, even scoffed, at what we were telling them. Blatant lies and refusal to acknowledge or even help the issues at hand. It was the anemia that was what crashed her. A transfusion would have been ideal, but there are other methods that could have been tried. They wanted me to take the referral and shut up, because they get a kickback from that. That was the only thing they were honest about.

Ali on the other hand has decided to become a vet. Once we work that out she wants to go to school and her idea is to help lower income pet owners get the care that would normally be denied them. A counterpoint to these people we dealt with. Which I think is sorely needed.

We just don't want others to go through the shit we did.

That's about all I'm really going to say at this point. I'll be going back to posting art and all that sometime next week.

Mr Freeze and an update.

2011-11-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

I drew this Mr Freeze while trying to figure out what was wrong with my cat. I think better when I'm doing something rather than sitting there waiting for the vet to open, freaking out and accomplishing nothing.

The update for the cat is oddly inconclusive. Initial tests showed she was clear on x rays and clear on the ultrasound I did 2 days later. The cat grew worse as this dragged on. I got the first call about the blood tests and the doctor who took over said she needed a transfusion. Which in no way I could afford. So I brought her in for ultrasound and she didn't see anything, so she figured it might be a super horrible life threatening infection, prescribing Meds and telling me to come back in a week.

The next morning she called saying they found something. In her blood that may be a sign of cancer in her bone marrow. I told her I will continue medication and we will run the tests on Friday. That way if there is an infection like originally thought I can give her a fighting chance.

The first few days of medication went horribly. She got crazy sick and barely ate anything. The third time she panicked and vomited finally passing out. Dry heaving for a day after if shown any food. This scared us. The next day I wake up to a phone call from the vet and I find the cat on the floor. She attempted to crawl to the litter box on her own and actually made it. I told the doctor and she was shocked seeing how bad off she is. She told me to continue medication and schedule an appointment like planned.

The day after I noticed the cat was getting on and off the bed, wobbling and weak and trying to get to her water dish. We employed a new method to giving her medication. It seemed to stave off vomiting. During the day she started moving about more. Not much but it was a start of something hopefully positive.

Today we found her in a little nook she made prior under a desk. She wasn't hiding or fighting us when we took her out to see what was up. She walked slightly less wobbly to the water bowl and off to the litter box by herself. Then we gave her food. She ate like crazy. So I don't know if this is a huge sign of hope for her or she is just humoring us. This cat is smart and has faked us out before. She just seems somewhat stronger through tyranny of will alone. Medication could be helping but this much in just a few short days, that's all her.

Now we are watching her around the clock and giving her the medication and counting down to Friday. Hoping that we get better news. Cancer is still on the table, but whatever it is, she seems to want to fight back.

Still way far from out of the woods.

Things up till now. Vet story and a futile cry for help.

2011-10-26T18:25:00.001-07:00

This is one of my cats. Her name is T.C. (unimaginatively named The Cat) she has been sick as of late. This story might get a bit rough and quite long, please bear with me.

I got her around 10 years ago. That day in the shelter was strange. The girlfriend I had at the time was insisting on me having a cat and I really wasn't into the whole idea. I relented and went with her to a shelter to pick up a cat she was already getting and she was kind of a weird animal hoarding type. So there was a major push to get one. She already had 5 cats at her house.

I looked unimpressed and reluctant to even be there. This was when I saw this little scrappy kitten. Barely 2 months old totally no selling the little kids shuffling by. She was cute but unfriendly to everyone. Then I walked by the cage. She stood up, marched over and climbed on the gate. Taking a swipe at my leg to get my attention. She made loud noises and wouldn't let me walk away. Se seemed oddly smarter than most cats. Kind of picking me instead of the other way around.

I broke up with the girl long after, the one constant was this cat. I later got another cat who is a polar opposite. TC is an insanely smart one. Even when the other cat got cancer at 3 years old, it was TC who helped nurse the other one back to health after massive surgeries. Insanely loyal, follows me around the house. All around awesome.

The other day she got extremely lethargic. Vomiting twice. She stopped following me around. Wobbling when she walked. Taken to not moving much at all. I fear the worst. So I took her to the vet.

For one, every time I've gone to the vet it's been an insane cash grab for them. As soon as we got in and they barely looked at her they start talking cancer and heart issues and bad kidneys. If this were a human child (not really equating the two) and you take them to the doctor with a tummy ache, they don't immediately start talking cancer without tests. The doctor unloaded every bad situation. Then had a lady come in with a list of charges. Breaking us down. I fortunately took an unrelated party to this to stay objective, I suggest this should you ever go to a vet, or make funeral arrangements, anything really.

The doctor squeezed at her belly hard first it was obvious checking to feel things. Then hard enough to make her scream and get stressed enough to open mouth pant. Then checking her heart say its abnormal. I leave her for tests because I had no other choice. Charging me $500 right off the bat.

He called me later telling me he wants to do an additional $400 ultrasound. I told him that the blood and urine tests need to be run and we will decide only if those tests warrant it. I don't have a job, I have nearly nothing in the bank. So trying to charge me for shit I didn't ask for was bullshit.

He says there may be a mass near her intestines. So I requested when we pick TC up that I look at the X-ray films. Now unbeknownst to him I know how to read an X-ray. I don't know everything and I'm the first to admit this. My father, back in the days working with him liked to show me how things worked and how to read things. He was a biomedical engineer. He ran an independent business installing MRI and X-ray machines. I worked on a tear down of an old X-ray machine and taught me damn near everything about that machine as I tore it apart. He found some films and went over them. Showing me how cancer looks on one. How anomalies look. This came up when my other cat got cancer, the vet that time didn't spot the tumor on her heart. I did. Sure enough it was what I thought it was. So I'm not an idiot.

He put the films up and he started pointing at things. Which were nothing. Her lungs were fine. Her heart was fine. Only thing odd was her intestines but no masses at all. I pointed this out and mentioned that she hasn't evacuated feces in a number of days. Which could account for the odd slight shadow on the X-ray. He then dropped his assumption. There could always be cancer there, but it doesn't appear on 2 films.

He then said that it looks non life threatening as far as the X-ray goes. Now I'm waiting on the bloodworm to come back.

The short story is that she is anemic, dehydrated. No heart issue. Possibly kidney failure, but might just be infection. I'll know the rest tomorrow. She isn't out of the woods yet. I might have to make a horrible decision.

Which is hard. TC has been a loyal friend. To think of losing her is hard. I don't think of her as a child, but she stuck with me through many bad things. She helped nurse the other cat back to health. She consoled in times of crisis. When my father died she didn't leave my side (even when that same ex tried to profit off my misfortune.) so I feel I owe to to her to do everything I can to help her.

Problem is, broke with no job prospects thus far. So I'm trying to raise funds through commissions. So if you need website stuff, book or album covers, even simple sketches. I need the work and can use the help. I don't want charity, I will work for it.

Even if worse comes to worse I can't even afford to properly end her pain, I'm looking into alternatives but nothing yet.

I know in the grand scheme of things this is minor to most. First world asshole problem. I get it and I'm sure I'll catch shit over it.

If this falls on mostly deaf ears, at least take my advice. If you end up with a sick pet or dead relative or any unfortunate situation, take someone who isn't invested in the situation to keep things objective. If you go in with raging emotions the bastards will take advantage every time.

Thanks, and sorry I'm long winded. Hopefully I get good news.

Oh boy! A switch!

2011-10-24T19:38:00.001-07:00

I keep getting sidetracked. So here's a drawing I'm working on in Sketchbook Pro for iPad of Mr. Freeze. So far it's only a head. Still working on it.

I switched my blogger profile with my underutilized Google+ account. In the process of cleaning everything up and expanding where I can.

I somewhat finished that book cover I was working on. It's not totally a complete done deal but right now. Waiting on client input. She just had a baby, so this is a better time than any to say congrats and good luck. Hopefully we can get on track soon. First things first, baby time. I am sending you guys stuff this week. Should you be reading this.

At the moment I'm looking for more work. Should you need design work or a book cover to make or if you just want a simple sketch. I'm open to anything.

In the meantime, I'll be messing with new designs for this site to make it better.

Random Sketch Tuesday!

2011-10-18T16:46:00.000-07:00

The first of what might be a regular feature where I randomly sketch something and for better or worse I run it on a tuesday.

I'm already cheating a little by posting this. A random warm up sketch from a month or so ago. Haven't posted it anywhere else I don't believe. So I figured I might as well put it up. It has ties to yesterdays odd Frankenstein 'thing' I mentioned.

The long randomly updated unannounced odd project thing.

2011-10-17T15:30:00.000-07:00

Just popping in while I have the time. I will be posting more stuff soon, I haven't abandoned the place.

This piece was made a while ago on my iPad. For years I've been randomly warming up to do stuff with odd gnarled faces all semi tied into Frankenstein lore. Over all these years I've thought about doing something with it. So far it's only random sketches.

I'm brainstorming the next wave of stuff.

Steve Jobs. 1955-2011

2011-10-05T21:04:00.001-07:00

I never met the man, as much as I wanted to it just wasn't in the cards. If I could have I would thank him for inventing my world from day one.

When I was a really young boy, my father was one of those people who would adopt new technology and constantly put it in front of me and my brothers. "this is the future." he'd tell us. Staring into the monochrome screens and the odd little box with a button on it next to the keyboard.

It was like strange dark magic. Tapping into a primal newness. It was an IBM knockoff yes. But it cost nearly as much as the real deal Apple II. It wasn't till much much later that I bought my first apple products. When looking at Apple in those days it was through to glossy pages of the early days of computer magazines. The magazines that would include pages of code to type in and play an ASCII version of Donkey Kong. I would read of this wacky band of creators. Every piece of newness that I learned to work with, they were steps ahead.

Going to school, first grade was my first time using an Apple IIe. Oregon trail an often pastime. The early paint program was the big eye opening moment. Sill monochrome but still so magical. Painting with a mouse, unthinkable. Going home to what I had there was jarring. At that point I started to tinker and experiment. Learning at that early age to learn this alien world. I had few friends but I had a working knowledge of how to put a computer together when I was 7. Inspired by that Steve Jobs guy from the magazines. He was this guy with his friends in a garage who made cool things that were just a step ahead. I wanted to do that, in a time a 7 year old should be playing with action figures and running from cooties.

Then my school got an early Macintosh.

It got real. More futuristic. The paint program was far and away better. Color. Insanity. Jobs and crew did it again. Of course this was a few years after it was introduced, my school was behind the curve. Still using those same Apple IIe machines well into the 90's.

Apple and the industry sparked a new amorphous form of my creativity. It forced me to see things differently. Unconventional new ways to achieve the same goals. A new set of tools. Steve Jobs and the Woz really started that and I owe a lot to their crazy devices.

My father in 2008 got pancreatic cancer. When he was diagnosed he died within the month. Steve Jobs had the same thing, just a rarer form that could be dealt with to a degree. I still can't help but get the same feeling today as I did when my father died. In the conventional sense I feel a loss, sadness. Then on the other side a thankful respect for all the new things they brought to my world.

I write this on my first generation iPad. I do a lot of my artwork on this. The entire blog you're reading is almost entirely created on an iPad. I use a MacBook pro to do anything else I do digital. I'm not speaking from the cult hive mind bullshit.

Steve Jobs. Like him and Apple or not. He was truly a visionary who created the modern world, and with his friends he changed the world. Things we now take for granted. He had a hand in. Like a modern day Edison.

Sorry for the ramble. You will be missed,sir.

Godspeed Steve.

ZOMBIE!

2011-10-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

A quick post.

A few months back my fiancé Ali was learning how to knit things and she made an odd green zombie body. The she had me figure out how to do the face and stitch it all together. We made simple clothes out of old torn up t-shirts.

And yes, it's eyes are buttons and one is hanging off like a zombies eye may be hanging out.

Eventually she was thinking of making more if we can get yarn and stuff on the cheap in bulk and sell them on etsy.

Work in progress fun!

2011-10-03T14:02:00.000-07:00

This is why I've been not updating as much as I would like, along with writing a complete set of guidelines for hiring me to do work that work for everyone. (due to some unnamed super unprofessional people who kind of left me in a major lurch.)

This is a rough work in progress cover for a book by the ever cool Rachael Astruc, wife of my friend Andy. I'll be promoting the hell out of it once this cover is finished. for now I'm just going. To chuck it up after the break.

Without further blah blah blah.

It's going to look way better once I redraw some rougher elements. But this is the idea I was going for. Final version may or may not have the kid in it. We shall see. Once it's complete and the client is happy with it I will post any and all relevant info because the book is pretty cool and they are good people and if I can swing one sale their way. Awesome. They took a chance hiring me and trusted me to just riff on whatever wacky idea I had. Not often do I get the freedom to go nuts. Definitely willing to work with them on anything from here out.

I haven't gotten as many clients since I went back to freelance and it's been a lot of hardship and weirdness. So I had to throw them a shout for being awesome. Hopefully I can get more clients that are that cool.

Slow going but I'm getting back into the groove after a long run of badness. Its been a long road since I lost my regular job, the fruitless search for a new one, and the littered weird side jobs I took just to make a few bucks. I started writing my own comics again, I have plans-funding willing- to put my fathers old workshop back into service to create new cool things (toys, sculpture, fabrication of various parts, seasonal decor) hoping by this time next year I'm not so damn broke and sad.

I kid. Things are rough all around. but I'm oddly upbeat sorta.

Since my father died 3 years ago, yeah getting personal, things kind of got lost in the shuffle of probate courts and insanity. I lost the drive to create and function past going to a job I hated. Like a ghost. It took as long to revive the corpse of my odd freelance art/writing career if you can call it that. Bumps in the road to be sure. Hopefully this is a sign of better things or at the very least a new door to somewhere else.

Sorry for lack of updates.

2011-09-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

Been a bit busy as of late. One hand I'm working on a cover for a clients book. On the other I'm trying to find some regular employment seeing as freelancing doesn't pull in much at the moment. Economy being what it is.

I didn't just up and abandon the blog by any means. In fact I have some things planned that are just taking slightly longer than I originally planned.

In the meantime I leaving you with the MGS ninja again. This time it was experimenting with snapseed for iOS (which was free till like yesterday)

Metal Gear Solid- Grey Fox/Ninja iPad speed painting.

2011-09-18T10:34:00.000-07:00

Not a whole lot to write this time. Thought I'd post a step by step of MGS' own Grey Fox/Ninja

This like other things I've posted thus far was done on my gen one iPad using sketchbook pro and my wacom stylus. Total time start to finish: 4 hours.

first I start with the pencils. For reference I used a photo of the action figure that was pictured at the Tokyo Game Show by Destructoid.com

on the next layer I started the basic inking.

I wasn't liking the prospect of being meticulously cross hatching like crazy for 12 hours. So I decided the experiment with some of the other odd brushes to texture and shade in parts. Tis done separately on another layer in case it went horribly wrong.

and here's the finished shaded up version.

now I fire up a new layer and begin to color the blue sections of his suit. When I color I get a tad sloppy so I do many layers as to not screw everything up. Thankfully this was easy and not requiring too much.

and now the orange parts. The face is grey tones on yet another layer.

Now the finishing touches. Background quickly dashed together. Merging color layers. Then finally a new layer where I added the red glow and the eye light thingy and it's little electric arcs. And finally....the end result.

Brock Samson. iPad step by step.

2011-09-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

The second you begin to argue with people on the Internet you already lose.

I decided to move on from the idiocy I engaged in and make a step by step of making a drawing of the Venture Bros former bodyguard Brock Samson. Part of an occasional series of character portraits based off characters from the aforementioned Venture bros. After this I want to go into the obscure characters. There's a million piece some by far better people than I of the main players. This though, I'm pretty proud of.

So after the break I will break it all down.

Here's where it begins. I fired up Autodesk Sketchbook Pro for iPad and grabbed my Wacom stylus. I used to use a pogo sketch stylus but I found the tip to be lacking, capacitive foam is ok, but for sketching I like the rubber tip on the bamboo stylus. Your milage may vary. The wacom bamboo is worth it in the long run.

Anyways, I began penciling with the basic pencil tool. Using a medium gray tone from the side bar. For more complicated sketches I use a blue line to lay it out and then open a layer over it to do the standard pencils to tighten it up.

This part of the little project took roughly 10 minutes of scribbling. I have shaky hands and they cramp easily due to childhood injury and such. So I try to do the pencils for something like this all in one quick burst. I was ok with the result and I posted the sketch on twitter.

I wasn't planning on going much further than that. I did get positive feedback on it right away so I went back in a few Hours later and began inking it. This part took me a good 2 - 2 and a half hours. On and off. Give or take. Using one of the pen tools I reduced the point size to 1.0 with the opacity all the way up. Pretty elementary. Since I was in high school I developed an odd adaptable style, but a major quirk is crosshatching. I'm trying to break myself of the habit, well trying for years to not go crazy doing it. I'm not that great with coloring things. So I always used to render in black and white and use inking techniques to show light variances. When you have a hand that cramps and shakes after a short time, it gets to be a bit much. For this piece though, it felt appropriate to do my hatching.

Many breaks later, I got the inking done. The next few steps I'm adding colors on many layers. Sketchbook Pro limits the layers to 6 on a first gen iPad. Someday if I have the funding I'd like to upgrade for the higher resolution modes. It'd make for much better work. I'm getting ahead of myself now, sorry.

Before I do anything else I block out the background and hand draw the gradient. Cleaning up as I go around the inked drawing. So as to not interfere with the skin layer.

Starting with the skin tones. Layer mode set to multiply. I lay out the lighter color first and go down the line putting in shadows, not the most pro way but it gets the job done. Once that's done I then make another layer in normal mode to put in the highlights on the skin. Then I merge them together.

Next comes the hair colors. Same method. Different layers.

One thing I tried to do, which is a first time trying this on iPad, I created a separate layer and layer out some red tones. Set the layer mode to screen I believe. I should double check actually. It might be add mode. Anyways, I drew out a second low light source. It turned out ok. I think I need to study up more on how to pull off modern coloring techniques. Speed painting is one thing, but stuff like this is totally another to me.

Once that's done I then make a new layer and start on the details. The cigarette first and his eyes.

The last touch is the smoke, I found out by accident that Sketchbook Pro has a smudge tool. I seriously was unaware of this in my year using this app. So the smoke is a separate layer, drawn out lines in white and gray. Then I turned the opacity down to about 60 percent. And finally it's complete.

And now I present the final result. Done completely on a first gen iPad.

Thanks for stumbling onto my site. More to come.

Update to last nights rant, clearer heads prevail.

2011-09-09T13:10:00.001-07:00

Bleedingcool.com updated the GD-gate story from last night. A story that pushed my buttons and I ranted at length about it in the same retarded manner that the owner of that comic shop did.

While I'm not sorry about the outrage, it was a knee jerk anger response to comments I think go way further than the original issue about Action Comics #1, which I've now read and enjoyed.

What I am sorry for was the personal poking at the guy. I think I went a tad too far. It's not like anyone really read all of the rant anyways. This is gathered from the large volume of hate mail based off the first 3 paragraphs and nothing more. And most misquoted. Haven't seen an uptick in visitors so I'm assuming word of mouth.

All in all I felt I had to stand up for comic writers, I am one, not a successful one to be sure but one none the less. Saying it's some giant liberal agenda to force feed on someone. All creators put forth their vision of what they are working on. Rarely is it "gotta tow the MSNBC line" or quoting Rachel Maddow, whom I adore, because she's awesome. I'm a liberal in some respects, though I align myself with anyone who's not a soulless asshole and more for personal freedom, all while helping out the less fortunate. Which to me is what the Superman character was all about to me. The iconic version I never related to until the Byrne revamp, I got bored quickly and became a Batman kid. The reprints of older material revealed at an early age a character that stood for people, not a nation. Which struck that perfect chord and set me on the path to being a creator. Mixed results and often broke. I never got into things for the money.

So I don't take kindly to my chosen line of work, though I do things outside of it more often as of late, being shit on in any way. We come in all stripes. Just trying to male a living in a shrinking marketplace.

The update to the story defused any anger I had at it. He apologized over his ranting and even got a response my Grant Morrison himself which pretty much made my point but in far less words. So I'm going to respect that and say the same. I went a bit too off. I'm as passionate with my profession and the rights of basic human beings that I get a little more discontent than most.

So as far as I'm concerned. It's done. We can be cool. I respect your opinions even when I don't agree with them.

You can stop sending me death threats now. Not worth it. I draw dumb shit and write dick jokes, no one would miss me.

Jokes.

I know, let's boycott All of the books! Rantings.

2011-09-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

So I was reading things on bleedingcool.com and I saw this.

This is long but I need to say this. Please read it all and bear with me.

This really struck a nerve with me as it highlights this odd part of America that I find distasteful. Instead of linking it and calling him an idiot, I tend to actually go and write actual content.

The panel above is from the newly released relaunch Action Comics #1. I haven't read the issue in question just yet (being broke does that) I saw this and thought about it, eh young inexperienced old school liberal social crusader Superman said 'GD' no more, no less. He was getting blasted and that can be interpreted as anything. Whatever you think it is, it's no more than that. He didn't break the tank with his penis and kick a baby to death. He uttered that and blew up.

Call the media and fire up the outrage machine.

A comic shop in North Carolina called The Comics Conspiracy decided to not sell the issue. Calling for a boycott of any and all future Grant Morrison comics over that panel posted above. The owner then went about spewing insane ignorance over it. Which I should poke at point by point. Sure I'm wasting my time but I need to get the ranting out.

All of his comments are from their Facebook.

As of today’s release of Action Comics #1 by Grant Morrison, The Comic Conspiracy, will until further notice, be boycotting all future Grant Morrison books. If you want Action Comics, you will have to buy it elsewhere.

They have every right to do this. Every shop owner has the right to sell and not sell what they want. Singling out one creator is peculiar so he obviously pissed in your cornflakes. But hey it's America, don't sell it.

Christian comic book readers and shop owners. Join us in the Grant Morrison Boycott. Action Comics #1 is a slap in the face to Superman, Christians and Superman creators Siegel and Shuster!!

Uh oh. Now I have no issue with people of faith. It's all good to believe in anything you want. But I have to ask, wasn't a major tenet of Christianity a little thing called tolerance? This is the kind of stuff that makes my skin crawl when people use god as an excuse to rally people to hate. And yes, as we go further the truth reveals itself. But I'm addressing this point. How is it a slap to the face of Superman, Christians, and the creators of Superman?

When Superman began he was a rough social crusader. A man who beat up wife beaters and fat cats who exploit the little man. Some street thugs here and there. A product of the time that spawned him. This relaunch book is a clear throwback to that era and the original version that kids in the 30's read and loved. Modernized in a neat way without straying too far from the original, as in the 30's original, not the shined up later Americana version most know. Seigel and Shuster might have actually liked this revamp. Since it's true to what they did. So I see no slap here.

I could see Guy Gardner and maybe even Hal Jordan (Green Lanterns) saying it. I could see Oliver Queen (Green Arrow) saying it. I could easily see Damian Wayne (Robin) or MAYBE even Bruce Wayne saying it. But Superman was created to be the “perfect” super-hero. Unblemished. Superman is an American icon.

Yes this is all about a panel. The one right above this post. This is where I scratch my head. The superficial part is that Superman is not created to be perfect. Sure he's not like a Marvel character where a bad leg is a character trait. He was a guy from another world coping with that knowledge while making his way in the big city all while trying to help out where needed. He has problems like everyone.

The other part is a deeper ignorance. He is mad that a comic character, sure the biggest one, saying in his words 'the lords name in vain' which really isn't what's there in that panel. Even if that's the intent of it, it's GD. I get that your faith has it's rules. I grew up Irish catholic, I learned all the rules but in practice it's simply 'be cool with people and don't be a dick and stab people or hump anyone you aren't married to'. The lords name in vain stuff is really of a time we don't live in anymore. As much as people scream about it we truly live in an age of post religion. Not everyone believes what the other guy believes and for the most part it's ok. It's the sad desperate ignorant ones that fuck it up for everyone. Great, have faith and follow what you wish. Sell what you want in your store. Go for it. Shoving those values that you hold into people's faces like this. It's myopic douchebaggery.

To think a fictional character has to fit your personal ideals is incredibly self important. Create your own shit and put those values in. I'm down with that and might even read it if it's good.

It grieves me to see a liberal Scottish schmuck like Grant Morrison take these liberties. I’m sorry, Superman would NEVER take God’s name in vain. In the words of the late Jim Croce, “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape.

and here we go. It's not enough to be mad at letters. It that it's a 'LIBERAL Scottish schmuck' did this great evil. Superman is a fictional character who did many a questionable thing. Look it up, read the old Lois Lane series. Fucker tricked Lois into thinking Bruce Wayne was Superman, getting them to get married. Because obviously Lois was written to be batshit crazy and wanting to marry Superman. At said wedding Superman flies in and they all laugh at her. Seriously. The guy has had years of solid dick moves. This God's name crap is the least of the superdickery of the past 70 or so years. It's your god, not my god. It's your faith, not everyone's faith. Superman isn't a Christian, if you want to split hairs the closest he'd be is a circus strongman Jewish dude. Which is ok in my book. Saying the lords name in vain is bad to you, I get it, but I'm sure your customers don't give one fuck about it and would like to buy product from you. Alienating people is bad business.

The story “attitude” didn’t bother me. I’ve had to accept a LOT of changes over my nearly 35 years in the business. However, Superman saying “GD” isn’t going to fly with me.

You have every right to be offended, none of this is to say you don't have the right. I just think imposing values on everyone, some not having one bit of the faith you have. Some who might be going through some shit, it's tough out there, and really just want to read a Superman comic that they could relate to. Someone who's like him. An imperfect guy just trying to figure this life out. GD is nothing compared to the famines and plagues of the world. People go to sleep hungry. People live in tents due to natural disaster and the people they believe in aren't getting what needs to do done. People are murdered for bullshit reasons, because say, they don't believe what they believe. Imposed ideals that the victim has no faith in. That's a low blow, yes, but when I see such a display of ignorance. It's mere steps from the shit that really messes up the lives of people who just want to be themselves. First it's the GD in the Superman, then it's shit like this...

I deal with books like “Crossed” and “The Boys”. I accepted gay characters being introduced into a children specific book like Archie Comics. I however am getting very tired of having comic writer’s liberal agendas force fed to me. Mr. Morrison has stepped over my line. If I have to stand alone on this… I will.

Crossed and The Boys are mature readers title with sick imagery. Murders and bad language, stuff that shouldn't be sold to kids. I never understood the odd standards where violence and horrible things are ok, but if there's sexuality or something as lame as this GD stuff. Rage explodes. This accepting gays thing is telling. You are a hateful ignorant person. No one is forcing anything on you. Liberals aren't godless heathens, we just read more and learn things. Many liberals are very into God and all that entails. Comic writers (like me when I'm not ranting at nothing.) aren't pushing some devil agenda. The only agenda I see is your uber intolerant anti gay bias conservatism. I don't mince words when it comes to this stuff.

The gays you mention aren't something for you to accept. They are people, just like you. They have jobs, they buy things. Maybe some things from your store. They like things you like. And like anyone out there they have no agenda. No one gives a shit about what you believe when they go in to pick up Batman. Gay, straight, liberal, conservative, black, white. It's comics. gays aren't bad people, but you seem to think they are bad enough to mention them in relation to kids comics.

In this shit economy it's odd to turn down the dollars that would keep you in a position to provide for your family if you have one. Sure Superman says GD, but those other comics where rapes happen (identity crisis, some well known Alan Moore books.) are ok. You have fucked up standards.

You have every right to your opinion and a right to sell what you want. But before taking some stand to get the publicity and all. Take a good long look at yourself.

And pray to god your kid doesn't turn out gay because of those goddamn liberals.

Mega iPad art post!

2011-09-08T14:07:00.001-07:00

A very random post but I figured that I had a bunch of old and very new iPad sketches that I either shared a long ways back and should be shown again and brand new stuff to maybe show how I'm evolving with the platform. This is what I do when I take breaks from other work to reside my brain to work on other stuff. Decompression and trying some new ideas before I opt to do bigger pieces.

That and it's insanely quick to go from idea to finished thing.

From here I'll just post the art and list what app I used to do it. Starting from newest to oldest so you can watch it all go downhill.

This is a Brock Samson I made last night. Still unfinished. Working completely in Sketchbook Pro for iPad with a wacom bamboo stylus. A step by step coming next week.

Adventure Time -Finn the human. Sketchbook Pro for iPad. Done 2 days ago while I worked out some other ideas. Planning something that I kind of need approval for and shouldn't talk about just yet.

Hellboy. Done a few days back. I'll be posting about this soon. Sketchbook Pro for iPad once again.

A random scribble zombie. Done in Artrage for iPad. I have a script of it in progress that I may convert into a video for YouTube.

Ironman- messing with Artrage for iPad again.

Around the time of the premier for Breaking Bad they ran these neat ads for the show all over. So I had to randomly draw it. And thus I have, sketchbook pro for iPad. Think I will dig up the old files (this was a few months ago it seems) and do a step by step post in the future.

Wheatley and space core, done a few weeks back in Brushes for iPad. I posted about this before.

On destructoid.com they added a chat months back. A chat that I did meet some cool people on, despite a few scum fucks that take advantage of people just because. Which I may talk about sometime. The good outweighs the bad. Randomly we were talking about shitty mascots for said chat. Which at that point was renamed outer heaven in reference to metal gear solid. I figured at a MGS reference is an absolute must and everyone was talking pokemon. Mash up happened. Recently I got a tad miffed when they used the design for a podcast logo without attribution of the original. But hopefully that can be rectified proper, seeing as I'm on the podcast in question. I have breakdowns of this to once again do a step by step post at a later date. This was created months ago, this being the second version as my original sucked. All done in sketchbook pro for iPad.

This was made a few months after I first got my iPad, well over a year ago. Using a pogo sketch stylus (not a fan) and sketchbook pro before the much much better update. It was more of experimenting with the tools. I don't always come out with super great stuff, most of the time I'm practicing things I have zero clue how to do. I'm untrained in most official capacity. Results aren't always pretty and usually employ unorthodox methods (coloring with far too many layers a major thing given the limitations of some apps)

In the big boy apps on the Mac I still haven't really gotten the hang of vector art and some more useful techniques. Little by little I'm getting out of my old school traditional art background niche. Ultimately I plan on bringing everything together into some big project. At this point though. Need a few jobs going. Workshop rebuilt and I need to finish a billion other things. Book cover and website stuff for friends first.

Work in progress.

Hurricane story part two: the quickening.

2011-09-07T17:04:00.001-07:00

The first part is here. I'll wait for you to catch up...

As promised, before the heavier update. The rest of the hurricane story non event with new random art, with the exception of the image above which has it's own small tale.

So I skipped the podcast, I was a bit annoyed by some proceedings and how I was informed of changes. Frankly it's just formalities and the fact no one is exactly professional in any capacity. It was a lot of crossed lines. So I figured, storm coming, rest up for the main event. Hope for the best.

We woke up around 4am, surprised my power was still up, storm was a few miles off. So we watched the news while I did last minutes checks to assure the girlfriend that we were ok. Watching MSNBC sucked, we only really watch the later night shows, the rest is kind of blah. So we switched to CNN. Now CNN had Anderson Cooper and Ali Velshi and many others on foot out in the city. The one in the news room was a woman who's name escapes me who wore a red dress and kept hammering the point that things are insanely dangerous. Which was true to an extent. Everyone in Florida would laugh at how they were selling this up in New York. Then they would cut to Anderson Cooper who was saying it's not so bad and it's like a plain old rainy NYC day. The lady in red would cut in to over sell the storm. Anytime someone would say anything that wasn't some hyped up evil storm were shouted down almost. It was an odd juxtaposition.

As the first hours wore on they cut to Anderson and everyone else. And it was windy, rainy. But not nearly the storm we were expecting here. Still like any news outlet that needs ratings and advertising dollars, the lady in red hammered the danger at the world. Like a coming apocalypse. When time came for the storm to end all storms they cut to one guy who was getting blown around and pissed on by the gods rain wise. Then they cut to Anderson Cooper who said simply that the rain picked up, some wind. Then back to the lady who was really pushing e deadly flood angle of the story. To which they went to Ali Velshi, one of the better awesome parts of CNN. Asking him to give an update. Rain was present. He stood there silent for a few seconds, then simply pointed at the water that was barely over flowing on the boardwalk. This had to be captured.

My girlfriend who has never been through a storm like this who was deathly afraid of being annihilated by a flood or the house falling on us. Who prior to this moment was shaking, awaiting horror. Slumped, shaking stopped. She stared and then started laughing at this moment in time. Ali Velshi defused a terrified person. And I had to draw it. Here is the end result.

Now this is usually where the story ends. Storm was here. Heavy rain and some wind. Apocalypse defused though. after this moment it didn't matter what the lady in red said about the storm. So I drew this and as a goof I snapped a picture of the quick sketch I made (it's awful.) and decided to tweet it out to Ali Velshi. Then we rode out the storm.

Afterward my Internet and power were still on, though the Internet had issues here and there, so I didn't see my twitter messages. Unexpectedly Ali Velshi loved it and was requesting a copy if not the original. I got this message a day later. He wanted it to hang in his office. Which to me is a big deal. I have been doing art in many many realms for years, often without accolades or even a mere dime for it. I do it because I feel I have to. It's one of the few things I'm good at. While I could use a lucrative career and all, barring that nothing makes me happier than when people like what I do enough to want to have it and hang it up and enjoy the hell out of it. It makes the struggles a bit more worth it. So this was indeed a massive high comparatively since my father died and everything got real bad. The fact it was someone I watched on tv who was pretty cool to begin with.

So I had to pretty it up in photoshop and send him not only the original sketch, but a high resolution of the edited version. I'm a perfectionist, which shows when I'm doing my other work (I have a hard time showing things incomplete, hence this blog in the first place.)

Later I fell back into the anxiety and doldrums I'm kind of faced with. After this storm I discovered that my garage door is busted up and the roof in there is leaking like crazy, ruining the workshop I was trying to fix up to start my own little fabrication business. So that sucked. Could have been a lot worse. Overall it ended up being really awesome in some respects.

Now I need to dig up funding to fix the damage and build the workshop again, it was once my fathers old workshop. So I feel it's the right thing to do. Such is life. Always in the hole.

Anyone looking to hire a strange artist type with many a skill?

That was the non adventure of non adventures.

New art stuff, hurricane story part one.

2011-09-04T16:40:00.001-07:00

The past 2 weeks have just been busy and awful. Well not so much awful, more like idiocy and hysteria brought on my Hurricane Irene coming to visit. That and the fact my girlfriend has never even been in such an event. This was days after our first earthquake felt in New York. Which I'll get to in a bit.

Art featured in this update was created in under an hour on a first generation iPad running Artrage. Variations from pixlr-o-matic.

So yeah, hurricane Irene was rushing up the coast directly at us. I wasn't too worried about the storm itself and more on the fact that I'm on Long Island and might get some flooding. So I did what anyone with half a brain would do. I proceeded to get everything off the ground. I have a bunch of old computers and equipment around and it's not in my best interest to leave it to be destroyed in a flood event. Ali (the girlfriend) watched the reports growing ever more fearful we might end up dead or in Oz. Her frame of reference was Katrina which was a monster storm. Irene was far less so.

Didn't matter. So here I am days beforehand preparing and securing everything. Even had bags ready in case we had to move. A bit much but better to know every precaution has been taken.

Now my house is a lower middle class kind of dilapidated shitty house. Not really great in huge storms, leaking roof and other issues. I wasn't too confident in the structure. Also the power grids here are complete suck. A stiff wind blows, you lose power. So I had prepped by charging everything, even shit we don't use. Kind of dumb but hey, apocalypse in my girlfriends eyes. Peace of mind is everything.

Friday night I learned in a roundabout way that Outer Heaven was recording a podcast and informing me in kind of a lax way.

I didn't know what was up so I said that the storm may knock me offline, so I was skipping that weeks episode. The podcast is called outcast and i don't have the link ready to go. I'm sure someone can hit the comments with the link. I'm horrible I know. In hindsight I could have done the episode as the storms started Saturday, the power stayed on. Shocking really. No awful pun intended. Instead of bugging the guys I poked at twitter, noticed the general mockery over my over prepare for the storm, figured I'd rather just sleep, rest up for the main show of the hurricane. Kind of felt like I was letting people down.

Then I remembered barely anyone notices when I'm around. That was sarcasm.

I will end this part here. Part 2 will come tomorrow or so, because I need to dig something up to show.

In the meantime, the art I'm posting here is from random speed painting I did yesterday for no real reason. I was brainstorming a few new ideas and things I want to try to do. That and working on a book cover (sending those out this week) and logo stuff for a friend.

The earthquake stuff I mentioned earlier, it was a non event but odd. I was playing deus ex, girlfriend was just staring at the wall or whatever and I felt the shaking, I was perplexed and said "the fuck is that?" then continued to make my box fort. Ali said she thought I was shaking the bed or whatever. And then we noticed one of the goofy rubber skulls I have hanging, yes I decorate like a goth 12 year old, was swaying. I continued to play box fort/hide lady in wall safe. An hour later I turned on the news. Earthquake.

Also, just a warning. I have a big deep personal post coming that I'm sure none will read, but I have to just get it out there. It's heavy and fucked up and I'm sure I might lose some people. You have been warned.

Still alive.

Portal 2 - Wheatley and Space core. Speed painting with video.

2011-08-24T10:40:00.001-07:00

Welcome back, or should I say, hi for accidentally gutter balling into my semi new home on the magical interweb.

Today's post is a quick one. Yesterday I decided to make a painting of Wheatley and that Space core from Portal 2. I wanted to make a video so I used Brushes for iPad. I wish Sketchbook Pro had the ability of Brushes, where you can export your brushstrokes that can be converted to video. But alas, work with what I have. The results worked out. Here's the final raw image exported from the app.

And here is a video of the creation of this piece. In the process I realized that I was doing it upside down. So the last seconds I flipped it. This is what happens when you start a painting while doing laundry, going home, forgetting about it. Having that small earthquake hit the east coast (my first earthquake btw.) and getting back to the painting and holding the iPad upside down, forgetting that brushes doesn't rotate the image. Just the interface. So there you go, upside down painting. Which I flipped back to how it should be at the end.

I always do shit like this.

The Venture Bros own, Brock Samson. Now with video!

2011-08-19T18:39:00.001-07:00

Today's random update is a quick sculpture I made in Autodesk 123D Sculpt for iPad. Brock Samson from the Venture Bros. Yet another experiment with a random app or method. My step by step trial and error is after the break.

To begin I loaded up the basic head shaped thingy. Technical term. Now the challenge I always set forth is to take this and move it far from the stock mold of it. Adding and subtracting and sculpting. At this stage I tend to have no idea what I'm going to do. It can be anything. Next post I'll show off the failed sculpt that I was making before I scrapped it to do this. Let's move on...

Now here I went in with the available tools. Building up piece by piece. Starting with the jaw and the cheekbone regions. This makes up the structure that I build on. I then smooth it out periodically to keep it from getting too messed up. There seems to be a limitation to the app where it only allows just so many polygons and warping before it just breaks the model. Not a flaw really seeing that it's an amazing iPad app with only so much horsepower to do this stuff. I use a first generation iPad. Not sure if that makes a difference.

After the facial structure is ok enough I then start to lay out where the hair will be. This step can be a pain for some. Since I was doing a Brock head the hair was semi easy in places. Brock has a feathered mullet like hairdo. So it was a matter of building up with the 3rd tool down.

It's not perfect but I'm sure they'll refine everything even further and add functionality down the road. So far so good. The next few shots are of the building process and beginning of painting (which I cheated with preloaded bits that I learned to hate.)

Now the teeth I painted out with the stamp of actual teeth. So I have a guide when I paint it. Seen above, it's not pretty but it worked. After this I paint on a basic skin texture and start painting the hair. The hair to give the idea of a textured hair look I painted it and painted it varying the color wildly to hopefully get close to a proper Brock hair color. The eyes were done with the stamp method but I couldn't for the life of me make it fit the lumps where eyes would be. That's why Brock looks like he had a stroke. The next few shots are finishing up and the final result.

Working on some new stuff.

2011-08-17T03:40:00.000-07:00

I meant to throw a few more posts up already but I ended up getting bogged down with other things. The usual shit that happens when you make idiotic choices in life. Tomorrow things should be back to normal. That is if anyone actually comes here. If you visited on purpose, THANK YOU.

I know it's not like my old sites that, while no one knew who the fuck I was, they liked the odd things I made. Things were more standard weirdo goth/punk man child shit, while this is ultimately experimental weirdo goth/punk man child shit.

Bear with me as I get my sea legs, it's been quite a while since I've been in action on the scary scary internets. I hear we have more pedophiles and 'brony's' now.

This terrifies me.

Just so you don't feel cheated coming here to nothing new. A preview of something. Autodesk 123D Sculpt Brock Samson.

The Mighty Monarch! Painter 12 experimentation.

2011-08-12T04:12:00.000-07:00

Todays update is an unplanned semi quick painting of the Mighty Monarch, from the Venture Bros. Started yesterday afternoon, I worked straight through to 5am eastern. 12-13 hours start to finish. Work in progress shots and commentary after the break.

First things first. I fired up Corel Painter 12, I haven't used Painter in a while so I was a tad rusty going in. Starting on the pencils I roughed out the basic figure. Minimal reference. From memory mostly due to sheer laziness. I started out wanting to do a Brock painting (I'll be doing that at a later date) and a few other characters like Orpheus,Phantom Limb, Trianna, Billy Quizboy, That plug head guy and so on. It all depends on when I get the time as I'm trying to look for work. Sorry got off target there. I chose to use a canvas texture (Painter allows for textured canvases which produce different grains to add to the realism of painting.)

I'm not going to go over every single step as I lost some screenshots I made. Sorry about that. The plan was to attempt rough oil painting. First I tried the 'Real oil' paint, which sucked. So I opted for the regular oil paint brushes.

I brushed in a simple gradient for a background base. Then using my pencils on a new layer I blocked out where he will reside. Then began my trial and error-8 billion layer cluster of idiocy. (I'm not all that trained in anything, and thus have a very unorthodox method to doing this stuff.) So just imagine at this point 20 layers with bits and pieces being painted. Yes I messed up his crown in hindsight.

Now I jump ahead to the face. Keeping with my method the eyes are layered under the face painting. I erased holes in it to show them. This is just plain goofy. Yet more reason to get myself into school. Anyways, the face took a lot of refinement. Could have done better but once it got 'close enough' I moved on.

The point of these exercises is to reaclimate myself with all my tools so I can get back to producing comics, and any content one might hopefully hire me to do. I'll tell the deep personal story at another time. Until then, live in fear. I'm long winded when I get going.

Now skipping way way way ahead now it's almost finished. Adding in his eyebrows and goatee. The crown is still wrong but I just decided to wing it. The eyebrows may be wrong as well depending on where you look. They are usually upturned, and in hindsight I really should have redone it because it would have looked better. Live and learn. All in all I was trying a way I don't normally do, turned out pretty good I think. Could it have turned out better, hell yes. Each piece of fanart-ish stuff I'm going to go experimental. Being outside your comfort zone is good for growth.

This is the final result. I did cheat slightly and opened up Photoshop to darken in a few spots and crop it a bit. I hope you dig it and want to see this stuff continue. Let me know. As an experiment I think I did ok. Some details are iffy. The next one I actually poked into reference. Won't rely on it totally but it's good to have so one can nail the tiny details. Thanks for checking this out.

Attack of the Zombie that states the obvious. [Comic]

2011-08-11T10:31:00.000-07:00

This had zero planning and forethought. Kinda shows but hey, at least it looks kinda neat.

App test: Autodesk 123D Sculpt.

2011-08-10T15:11:00.000-07:00

I downloaded Autodesk's new app 123D Sculpt today. Free iPad app on the app store as of this writing.

From the outset it looks similar to Sketchbook Pro, the brushes work the same way. Past that is an awesome toolset that make sculpting in 3d as simple as drawing. Very intuitive and cool. More pics and a video after the break.

I chose a basic head shape, figuring I'd poke around and see what's doing. I quickly became entrenched in making a zombie/corpse head. Chopping into the basic head starting with the severely damaged side. Using the tools to expand and contract. Cutting into it. The gesturing is done by drawing directly on the sculpt. The base regular flesh texture visible on the other side is from a tool that allows you to rub a preset image onto it. Neat stuff.

I was going to stop there but I noticed that I could make a turnaround movie, this I had to try. Being the perfectionist I figured I'd do more to the sculpt on the other side of it. So I went random with the tools. Poking and drawing the add wrinkles and bone structure poking out. Texture over the skin tone was all done by hand. Not perfect or "professional" but for a first time out this app is aces. I'll be messing around with it more when I can.

All in all it's awesome. My only real gripes are that Autodesk doesn't allow me to export to picasa, which would eliminate a step in posting these things. A gripe about the app specifically is that I can't export a 3d mesh to use in other desktop based applications. Still though, can't beat a free app that has results like this with minimal experience. I fully recommend this.

Arbitrary random score for score minded people: 8/10

Spinning dead guy head

Random hobo Batman. App test.

2011-08-09T10:41:00.000-07:00

Testing, testing. I'm testing an app I downloaded on my iPad months ago when I originally planned on doing this blog. So it's a perfect time to set up a random timed update I cobbled together at 4am.
So far it's kind of neat, the true test is if this update shows up at the random time I set for it.
I know, boring...that's why I'm including a quicky drawing of a hobo Batman. I'm working on a bunch of stuff (hence the radio silence in the more social circles.)
Deeper musings under the break.

No idea why a hobo Batman exists. I was sketching and I defaulted to drawing batman, but I was thinking 60's batman. No real plan for it so I randomly poked at it. Like an ill fitting children's Halloween costume on a gangly grown ass man.

Almost like a metaphor of how things are at the moment for me. Here's where I get a tad personal, you can run. It's not all emo whiney to be perfectly honest. Uncharacteristically positive actually. So bear with me.

I'm trying to get my shit together. Since the past few years events (bad stuff, you can ask if you want to know) I fell into an uncreative funk. Long story short I'm really starting to get motivated. I may not have the audience I used to have, or the friends watching my back, but for the first time in a long time. I feel kinda ok, just need to get back into school and get back out and just rebuild and talk to humans more.

Destructoid.com has been a help in some respects. Met some cool people I gladly call friends. Hell I even did a podcast with them randomly, maybe if they want me to I'll do it again. Don't have a direct link but it's called the Outcast. No its not what you may think, it's a bunch of people talking gaming related nerdery. It was fun. It forced me to make my first real public utterance in a number of years.
It's baby steps, hopefully leading to leaps in getting the world in order. Need more work literally and figuratively. But it's a solid step that I'm drawing every day again. Instead of random bursts and frustration. Barely speaking to anyone. Retreating into a dark place. It sucked. I'm still dealing but I'm working to fix the lingering dumb shit.

There's a lot I can say but I'd rather not bore whoever might pop around these parts.

Thanks, now let's see if this app shits up the place.

Rusty Venture speedpainting! (w/ video)

2011-08-07T16:30:00.000-07:00

Yes yes I'm at it again. Today I was messing around in Brushes for iPad and I figured I'd do a speedpainting of Rusty Venture.

Inspired really by the odd day Friday where I watched Law and Order: Criminal Intent, featuring James Urbaniak, a rather good actor known widely as Rusty Venture on the Venture Bros (for those from places that haven't seen the show).

After that episode of Law and Order I changed channels not thinking of much more than work I had to get done, when out of nowhere an ad for Farmers Insurance popped up with James on a handtruck being touted as a criminal mastermind thief, look it up, it's fun. I'm a fan since American Splendor, he played Robert Crumb, an influential artist from the good old days of underground comics.

Today I decided to just paint Rusty. Total elapsed time-25 minutes. Below is a video I made of the process. (Brushes is neat like that, if only Sketchbook Pro did this I'd be happy.) Enjoy. I will be doing more down the road.

Avengers work in progress.

2011-08-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd share a work in progress drawing of the Avengers.

It started as me just messing around in Autodesk Sketchbook Pro, as they had just released a Copic marker add-on in the latest update.

Also it was only a sloppy pic of Iron Man. It didn't feel right so I added Cap and Thor, this just pushed me to add others. You'll notice a super rough Hawkeye, Hulk and the beginnings of Ant-man. Wasp will be added later.

Each character is on a separate layer and I'm kind of working completely backwards. I never learned a proper form in creating things digitally. I muddle about and bonk things together and hope for the best.

More to come.

It begins again.

2011-08-05T15:50:00.000-07:00

A work in progress. Stay tuned.